Before we had a body, we looked down upon the earth. Shards from the broken soul that made ours flew above us, glistening in the warm sunlight. You said our eyes would be blue, like the endless oceans you instantly fell in love with. I’ll know them, when I see them.
And then we had to let go.
Oh, and how wonderful earth was! I fell for it too, my love, even if it took me so much longer than it took you. How I loved its abundancy of life and beauty… So much so, it made people think I was crazy. But I loved them too – How could I not? I was so amazed at what they managed to do with themselves, I adored their stories, their dances and songs, and the most important thing of all, their abyssal emotions. They seemed to become whatever sentiment washed over them, filling themselves with it – and it was all sheer fuel. No matter what was infecting their tiny hearts, they managed to take that sickness and make it into something beautiful, in the material world.
I loved everything because I loved you. I saw you in the sunlight and in everything it touched, how could I forget you?
I had great expectations, my love. I used to think my own longing will be the death of me. And I died so many times, waiting for you. All those nights, digging into the earth’s fragile crust, trying to find the answers I couldn’t figure out for myself. Where are you? Don’t you want to know where I am?
You were right, my eyes were blue, just like the ocean. And like the ocean they wept every time the moon was full, knowing you were watching it too, far away from me. Every pair of blue eyes that fell into my hands I had to let go, because they were not yours. None of them could ever compare.
But I will wait. Beneath the sleepy crown of the boundless forest, resting my old body under starry skies. I’ll become the pale flowers, quietly singing the song of the wind. I’ll gently caress the trees and console the insects passing by, hiding between thin grass blades.And the only tears I’ll cry will wash over the earth, will bring the life I never got to live, and this will be my legacy.
I am my yearning and my aching. And I’m sorry.
desen și text - Maria Marina, XB
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